"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."
"You are the best. You are the worst. You are average. Your love is a part of you. You try to give it away because you cannot bear its radiance, but you cannot separate it from yourself. To understand your fellow humans, you must understand why you give them your love. You must realize that hate is but a crime-ridden subdivision of love. You must reclaim what you never lost. You must take leave of your sanity, and yet be fully responsible for your actions."
-Gnarls Barkley, in a letter to the legendary rock critic Lester Bangs
Hello all!
woohoo my blog is dead! blogging by request of zhongyi haha, i can't believe i haven't updated in such a looooong time.
but this week was wow! :D
batch chalet:
was whee. played cards leanrt bridge camwhored, swam and tanned(failed), daytona, nightcycling! speaking of which Im sorry nicholas, you seemed reaaaally tired the next morning hahaha. But thanks for the ride yeah it was fun. Oh and thanks ben for the shirt i was freeeeezing.
I realise i forgot some stuff that happened already. shit. Ohoh! went to yiyang's house after the chalet and had a few games of bridge before everyone concussed on his floor for a few hours haha. And first time i wore shirt and fbt to 313 @ somerset!
Was sick the next day so didn't go to AHA rehearsal. ): But tada saturday was the actual performance! Thanks zhongyi for choreo-ing and letting me dance although i came in pretty last minute hahaha. Funfunfun. skipskipskip.
Mcdonalds for supper as I sat with a table full of guys who ate mcspicys like this faaaaaaast. *points to speeding car*. Okay moving on (omg im getting bored) went to his house and played bridge and pool and slapjack and ignoring yiyang who kept asking me to sleep LOL. (im sorry :D ) camwhored again and goodnight all.
And AHA the next day! Second time i wore shirt and fbt to 313 @somerset. Oh bytheway if you are still reading up till this point, I applaud you because i think this post is typed in a very irritating manner. So if you're reading this, i shal give you a mars bar the next time you see me! Woohoo! :D
After AHA we went to the airport to send yiyang off. HI YIYANG! I think i cried like a retard but don't judge me! Cabbed home with pearlynn and prawn and jianhao and the midnight+airport surcharge wasn't as bad as I thought!
Note to self: I owe pearlynn money. and i think jianhao too?
Flying off tomorrow, will be back on the 4th! Bye babes!
Speechless, lady gaga.
I can’t believe what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up
I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies
Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?
I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless
I can’t believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreamsa
I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He’s gonna get you and after he’s through
There’s gonna be no love left to rye
And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends
I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless so speechless
I’ll never love again,
Oh friend you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless
And after all the drinks and bars that we’ve been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?
And after all the boys and girls that we’ve been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?
If I promise to you boy
That I’ll never talk again
And I’ll never love again
I’ll never write a song
Won’t even sing along
I’ll never love again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless?
Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless?
You’ve left me speechless
Some men may follow me
But you choose death and company
Why you so speechless?
So baby raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts
of all my wrecked up friends.
I don't even know how to feel now. It's weird to cry because that would be totally overreacting ( technically it would be). But then again, I don't know how I'm feeling now. Damned.
Need a hug.
Sorry! i cant be arsed to blog anyore, its just going out and coming home everyday -.- so theres actually no need for you to come back, unless you want to hear my ramblings on things that make sense to no one but me. yep.
"What's gone and what's past help
Should be past grief."
Is it legal not to care, and to mind my own business, be happy and leave it at that? Is it legal to be fustrated by someone when it isn't even her god damn fault? Is it legal to be exasperated by something that hardly concerns me? I dont understand why Im so bothered, because technically, I don't even have a right to be.
But then again, no one has the right to be. And im not the only one.
Hang me if its illegal, because although I've tried, I cant change my opinions.
Of me, you, us, and everyone else.
We are mere hypocrites of our promises.
Be it vows, commitments or mere affirmations. So many times I had had promised something that at a certain point of time seemed to be perfectly acceptable, but after a period I come to realise that many of such promises have become an abyss of nothingness.
Fuck that. That's what we all do, assuring one another that a pact would be kept, but once the time comes we forget anything we once said, and the sugared words of honour plainly dissolves after a while.
Often i tell myself never to do that anymore, not to take someones pact for granted. Never to naively believe everything I hear, not to trust that a promise would be fulfilled when I know that there is a chance that it might never be. But I guess friends have an empowering effect on people, an unspoken spell that makes us trust whatever they say.
But we never practise what we preach.
So here i am. Sorry to those that I've hurt, I know there are many promises that i had failed to keep. And although I know its never anyones fault, fuck all those who raised my hopes high, only to bring it crashing down again.
Tonight, I've learnt that disappointment doesn't taste as bitter as I thought it would. Perhaps with time I have adapted to its sapidity.